In my opinion, I will believe Spears had changed herself after so many challenges came to her. She used to be very rebellion and bad but everyone will have chance to correct one's errors and make a fresh start. But I know there are so many controversy about her behavior, such as some people do not believe her will be a good girl after she have done many things to upset them while the others have strongly belief that she still a good girl and she will turn a new leaf . No matter what they said, I think Spears will do the right thing after she lose so many fans.
My judgment based on the hardship she had been through recently. As the article said, Spears went to the rehab to renew hersellf , and it was really a great punishment for her to take. So, I strongly believed that Spears will come back to the new one and never do the wrong thing again to disappoint us. By the way, she had released a CD recently, I can feel her energy back and thegreat power will overwhelm all of the singer.
Coherence plays an important role in writing. Usually when you drop a topic sentence in the beginning, you will use the following sentences to support the topic sentence.That is, the sentences following your topic sentence are not independent. Instead, they are all related to your topic sentence.
回覆刪除In your first paragraph, I saw less coherence. For example, in sentence 2, I can hardly see the connection between "She used to be very rebellion (should be rebellious)and bad" and " everyone will have chance to correct one's errors and make a fresh start." And sentence 2 does not really support sentence 1, either. I know you have many good ideas to share with readers in paragraph 1 but these ideas seem a little scattered. Next time when you write, try not to put too many ideas in the same paragraph, for it would be hard for you to decide which one is your main idea.
The structure in paragraph 2 is basically Ok except for the following grammatical errors:
1. My judgment based on the hardship---My judgment "is" based on the hardship...
2. So, I strongly believed that ---- So, I strongly "believe" that...
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回覆刪除The tremendous change of Britney Spears may terrify many of her fans and the public, but I think it’s not totally her fault. Of course she should never transform her emptiness and painfulness into drugs and alcohol abuse. However, when she became a superstar, she was still very young and innocent. She tasted the sweetness of success first rather than realize the cruelty of the reality. So, that is the main reason why she abandoned herself while she faced the difficulties. However, nowadays everyone said that she had already turned a new leaf,in my point of view, I will believe Spears had already changed herself after so many challenges came to her. She used to be very rebellious and bad but everyone will have chance to correct one's errors and make a fresh start. But I know there are so many controversy about her behavior, such as some people do not believe her will be a good girl after she have done many things to upset them while the others have strongly belief that she still a good girl and she will be a new Spears. No matter what they said, I think Spears will do the right thing after she losed so many fans.
回覆刪除My judgment is based on the hardship she had been through recently. As the article said, Spears went to the rehab to renew hersellf , and it was really a great punishment for her to take. So, I strongly believe that Spears will come back to the new one and never do the wrong thing again to disappoint us. By the way, she had released a CD recently, I can feel her energy back and thegreat power will overwhelm all of the singer.